Surrender

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Surrender

I’ve been spending a lot of time in the book of Ruth lately.

Most people talk about Ruth and immediately start thinking about Boaz… including me. I mean come on!! Who doesn’t want a Boaz!?  Many talk about the favor, the redemption, and the provision God orchestrated on Ruth’s behalf. Then, they talk about the beautiful happily ever after ending. On top of that, the privilege of being included in the lineage of Jesus Christ - whew! What an honor! 🙌🏾

But to be clear, before there was a Boaz, there was a goodbye. There was loss.  There was uncertainty.  There was turbulence and turmoil.

Ruth had to leave something behind before she could walk into what God had prepared for her. And she didn’t see it coming. 

She left her home.

She left everything that felt familiar.

She left a life that made sense.

God knew what He was doing.

What I’m recognizing is that she left without knowing exactly what was waiting for her on the other side.

I can’t help but wonder if that’s why her story has been sitting so heavily with me lately.

Surrender sounds beautiful when you’re reading about it in scripture….Living it is another thing entirely.

Today, I had to surrender my driver’s license.

Even typing those words feels strange.

I kind of wanted to see what would happen if I didn’t turn it in.. like, what are y’all going to do - tell me I can’t drive?? 🤦🏾‍♀️ 

I was compliant because I have upcoming travel and don’t want any issues boarding or deplaning in another country. (Iykyk) 😉

Anyway…

I knew it was coming. My vision loss didn’t happen overnight, and neither did the reality that eventually I would no longer be able to drive. But knowing something is necessary and being ready for it are two different things. Totally different.

When I arrived at the DMV, I wasn’t just surrendering my driver’s license.

I was surrendering my independence. Like for real. Officially.

I was surrendering convenience.

I was surrendering my peaceful escape from my world, creating an atmosphere where it was just me and God, through music I listened to alone in the car, sermons, podcasts… and sometimes silence  just me and my thoughts.

I was surrendering the ability to simply decide I wanted to go somewhere and get there on my own - when I wanted to, at whatever speed I wanted to… and however long it took me to get there is was up to me.

I was surrendering another piece of the life I used to know.

And if I’m being completely honest, I cried.

Not because I wanted to drive recklessly. Not because I don’t understand why it had to happen. But because every surrender comes with some level of grief.

Ruth knew that.

Ruth knew what it felt like to walk away from something familiar without having all the answers.

What I love about her story is that God never showed her the whole plan.

He didn’t tell her about Boaz.

He didn’t tell her she would become part of the lineage of Jesus.

He didn’t tell her how the story would end.

He simply asked her to take the next step.

And she did.

She obeyed Him.

She trusted Him.

That’s the type of faith work God is doing in me right now.

Maybe that’s where I find myself tonight.

I am not at the end of the story.

I haven’t even scratched the surface of the redemption chapter.

I’m not even as close as I thought to the restoration chapter.

I am just taking the next step. I am alive in this moment, and there is nothing more important than what I am doing right now. In this moment.

Meanwhile I am fully trusting that the same God who was faithful to Ruth is faithful to me.

I trust that surrendering is not the end of my story.

Sometimes it’s simply the place where the next chapter begins.

In humble surrenderance,

Leslie A. Council

PS - Yes, I made that word up. Surrenderance. But it sounded good to me so go ahead and add it to Webster ‘nem. 😉