Magazine Cover

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Magazine Cover

I grew up in a strict church. Very strict - especially in comparison to the churches I’ve attended since being an adult and finding God in my own way.

In the church I grew up in, we were taught to be different.

To dress differently.

To move differently.

To carry ourselves differently from the world around us.

As a child, I asked a lot of questions about that.

Why did we have to wear skirts?

What couldn’t I go to my prom? 

Why couldn’t I hang out with friends outside of the church?

Why couldn’t we go to the movies?

Why were certain things considered worldly?

Why did it feel like we always had to stand out instead of blend in? I don’t mean blend in because of a desire to be like everyone else, I mean because of the “rules” of the church, I felt like the odd kid in school.

Truthfully, asking questions about the church rules was often frowned upon. Curiosity sometimes felt mistaken for rebellion when really, I was just trying to understand. Meaning mattered to me. Purpose mattered to me. Understanding why we were expected to be so different mattered to me.

At the time, none of it fully connected for me.

Today, I understand differently.

Today, I would answer that younger version of myself by saying:

“Baby… we are set apart.”

Being set apart does not mean perfect, nor does it mean I am better than anybody else.

I am simply apart.

As I have gotten older, I have realized there is something powerful about carrying yourself with intention in a world constantly encouraging people to blend in. 

Peace moves differently. 

Grace moves differently. 

Light moves differently.

People tell me all the time that I look like I stepped off a magazine cover. If you know me, you know she likes to get dressed! 

What they do not realize is they are actually responding to something deeper than my outfit.

Yes. I can put clothes together well, but that’s not all they see. They are seeing and responding to presence and energy.

To confidence that came from surviving.

To softness that came from healing.

To peace that came from God rebuilding me privately before allowing me to stand publicly.

What they are seeing is not perfection.

It is refinement.

The light hits differently when it has been tested by darkness.

People see the glow, but they do not always know the story behind it.

The prayers.

The disappointments.

The tears.

The healing.

The wrestling with God.

The moments where I questioned everything and still chose to trust Him anyway.

That kind of light cannot be purchased.

That kind of glow cannot be created through aesthetics, labels, or trends.

It comes from being carried by God through seasons that should have broken you.

Maybe the skirt was never just about rules or appearance.

Maybe it was preparation for understanding that carrying God within you changes how you move through the world. It changes how you carry yourself. It changes the atmosphere around you before you even speak.

People can feel when something about you is different.

Set apart.

These days, when people compliment me, I smile differently because I finally understand what they are seeing.

The glow is not just me.

It is the light of Jesus shining through me.

“Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.”

~ Matthew 5:16

Before you continue reading, I want you to release the pressure of trying to fit into spaces that were never designed for the version of you God is creating. Being set apart is not always glamorous. Sometimes it looks like standing alone, choosing differently, walking away, asking hard questions, protecting your peace, or trusting God when nobody else understands your path. Still, there are reminders that can keep you grounded when the world pressures you to become smaller, quieter, or more acceptable. 

Here are five reminders I hope anchor you whenever you begin to forget who you are.

1. Being set apart will often feel lonely before it feels purposeful.
   Every room is not meant to understand the assignment on your life.
2. You do not have to shrink your light to make insecure people comfortable.
   God did not anoint you to disappear.
3. Conviction and conformity cannot lead your life at the same time.
   One will always require sacrificing the other.
4. Questions are not rebellion.
   Growth often begins the moment you stop pretending and start seeking understanding for yourself.
5. Being different is not a punishment.
   Sometimes the very thing that made you feel isolated is the exact thing God will use to impact other people.
   

Read that again. 

Maybe being set apart was never about perfection, performance, or proving anything to people. 

Maybe it was always about having the courage to become exactly who God created you to be, even when it looks different from everyone around you. 

Tonight, give yourself permission to stop apologizing for your growth, your questions, your boundaries, your light, and your calling. Spend some time reflecting on the places where you have been shrinking just to fit in, and ask yourself what could happen if you finally allowed yourself to fully walk in who you are meant to be. Your difference is not the problem. It may very well be the evidence of purpose.

May God bless you. 🫶🏾