Her Soft Life

​Her Soft Life: When Love Finally Meets You Where You Live

I’m going to be honest right out the gate. Valentine’s Day has never really been my holiday.

I’ve never been one to look forward to it. Never one to romanticize it. If anything, it usually brought a quiet kind of anxiety. The expectations. The comparisons. The pressure to perform happiness even when something felt missing.

And when I sit with that truth now, the reason feels obvious:

I didn’t have the kind of love I actually longed for.

So a day the world sets aside to celebrate love?

Yeah… sometimes it felt heavy instead of joyful.

But this year?

Oh baby.

Now I’m looking for all the things. The roses. The intentional time. The sweetness. The quiet moments. Not because a holiday defines love, but because I finally have a love that feels safe enough to celebrate out loud.

Turns out Valentine’s Day didn’t change.

My experience of love did. 🌹🫶🏾

And I don’t think I’ve ever loved - or been loved - like this before. Not in a way that lets my shoulders drop and my spirit actually rest.

This Valentine’s Day reminded me just how different this season is. We actually went to his first college basketball game together and saw his favorite team play! It was loud, fun, and full of energy! ‘Twas super dope to see and experience his excitement!!

And then the very next night, he turned around and created this intentional night just for me… fireplace glowing, roses everywhere, candles, music, strawberries, wine.

And it hit me:

This is what love feels like when it isn’t survival. If I’m honest about my past relationships, I was often looking for love in places that simply couldn’t meet me. Not always bad people. Not always toxic. But often relationships where I was pouring from a deep well… into cups that weren’t built to hold me.

Sometimes it felt like my value was tied to what I could do -  how I showed up, how I looked, how I made someone else feel. Like being a pretty face on someone’s arm or a problem solver mattered more than being fully seen.

But love isn’t supposed to feel transactional.

It isn’t supposed to feel like performance.

And I know now… I’m worth more than convenience, image, or appearances. He’s taught me that. Better yet, he’s shown me that. 🫶🏾 What a blessing!

I could never again subject myself to deception, fake smiles, or maintaining optics just to save face. That doesn’t save anything.  Peace costs too much to live that way. Authenticity may stretch you, but it should never suffocate you. Read that again.

What I have now?

It’s real. Honest. Mutual.

And whew… what a blessing. I thank God every day!!!!

The Part I Never Saw Coming

When he and I met, I was absolutely done with the idea of marriage. Not bitter. Just clear. I had healed enough to know I wasn’t interested in repeating cycles or forcing alignment where peace didn’t exist.

Marriage wasn’t even on my radar.

And then… him.

🫶🏾🫶🏾🫶🏾🫶🏾🫶🏾 HIM!!!!!! 🫶🏾🫶🏾🫶🏾🫶🏾🫶🏾

No pressure.

No convincing speeches.

No hollow promises.

No side relationships.

No deception. No disrespect.

Just consistency.

Safety.

Laughter.

Presence.

Someone once said “It’s fine to fight for someone who loves you. It’s a waste of time to fight for someone you love.” 

I felt that.

Somewhere along the way, my “never again” quietly turned into “actually… probably.”

Not because I need him, but because loving him feels like partnership, not sacrifice.

And that difference?

It changes everything. And I mean everything! Even my closest family members have included him in a way that almost suggests he’s already in the family! (If you know “the aunts”, the Council women, this is a big deal!!!)

When Scripture Stops Being Poetry

…and Starts Being Experience

I keep coming back to scripture when I think about this love. Not the performative version I grew up hearing, but the lived version. The kind you recognize when you finally experience it.

I used to read that like beautiful poetry. Now I see glimpses of it in real life. In patience. In grace. In being allowed to be human without fear of abandonment. 

(And, yes, there’s a glass of wine on the pic with the scripture. Stoppit - you ain’t that holy! Don’t judge me!) 🍷 🌹🖤

Anywhooo this love I’m experiencing feels right on time.

Ecclesiastes reminds us:

“Two are better than one… if one falls, the other lifts them up.”

That verse hits differently when you’ve known what it feels like to carry everything alone!!

Honestly, this season feels a little like those songs we grew up hearing - searching for real love, then finally realizing peace feels better than fireworks. Like living life golden, not perfect, but deeply grounded.

And that kind of love changes you. We are not perfect by any means! We’ve navigated a LOT together! But my God - I couldn’t even begin to recover or heal in any capacity without him. I can’t imagine anyone else would be here for me like he has!

What “Soft Life” Really Means (to me)

People throw around “soft life” like it’s luxury or aesthetics.

But for me?

Soft life means partnership.

It means someone walking this journey with me - vision changes, grief, faith evolution, career pivots, healing, depression, PTSD, doctors appointments, medical procedures, grief (again), purpose shifts… all of it. Not intimidated. Not trying to fix me. Just present. Doing life together!

Consistently present.

We aren’t perfect. Not even close.

But there’s nobody else I’d rather do life with.

And if I tell the truth? Some seasons would’ve broken me without him.

My him. 🫶🏾

Maybe soft life isn’t about ease.

Maybe it’s about alignment.

About safety.

About grace showing up in human form.

And when love finally meets you where you actually live?

That feels like answered prayer.

Soft life isn’t luxury.

It’s finally being loved in truth.

Thank you, Robert. I love you forever! 🌹🫶🏾🖤

~ Leslie A. Council ~